I want a life, not a book.

I find it a stupidity to humiliate oneself in public, in fact nobody shouldn’t be doing it to anyone. Having it taken so far, I’d stick to what I do best – compromise and keep quiet ‘cause it would have been a mess if I responded and detonated a temper/ego war. A lot of times I wonder if I have ever stood for what I believe in, or just going with the motion since everyone is doing it. Or to merely please those around me that I’m enjoying the company provided. What I chose to believe is my patience hasn’t come close to the red line and there is still sufficient space to fill up tantrums being thrown around. When others can indulge in self-pity, constantly implementing the thought of which he’s spineless, a follower who nods to everything even though he is as good as the rest, perhaps better.

A CG reunion dinner was setup last night, at a wrong place, wrong time for a good cause. Seeing people I always wanted to see again was somewhat a reminder of past to me. Not everyone showed up but it was a good session looking back at our old selves. To top that, I had a conversation with a friend and we came across life and perspectives briefly. He said that there is always more than a viewpoint in every scenario, which is very true and a redial in mind. Then we carried on to live to learn or learn to live, I am a man who strongly stands by learn to live. Getting into as much trouble as possible, fall hard and rise a stronger person, then we’ll get to tell stories about our lives. Than people who feed on the stories of someone else’s life and treat it as his own, knowing that he’ll always have this little desire of doing things beyond his boundaries. Books to life, it is true that an influence can be created but how much can we be like a book? Come to think about it, what made this book that we read? It is always the author’s life experience, the shits they went through and how much one thing changes them, these are the elements that make it so wonderful. And what readers do, “It’s a masterpiece! This book changed my life!” I always thought that’s nonsensical, how on earth this book changed your life? Have you truly been through the similar problems or even close in where you are standing at the moment? Why not be another author, live a life, lose and gain something then write a book? I’m sure that’ll be more meaningful than living a life based on a book, that bullshit is only applicable on control freaks, insecure human beings who take charge of everything within their own sweet world so nothing would go wrong and cost them something. Isn’t what things that cost you are the ones making you stronger? Think.

It was a fruitful night, both the dinner and beer session. Tension was sparked when a very close friend and I had a misunderstanding, then it was all cooled and chilled by Tiger, the buddies’ official beer, we’re all fine now. These are the petty problems that should be going on with life, and things aren’t about you all the time. At least I came home and gave in some brainwork of what went wrong back there, and the image of an angry friend! End.